Life is a challenge.  It is a journey we are never fully prepared for.  And, for most of us, it really is a visit to a carnival.  Sometimes the ride is so slow it’s boring.  Other times it’s fast but kind of exciting.  And then there are those rides that are so scary you wish you had never handed over your five tickets or waited in that line.  When life is the first ride, the boring one, it’s easy to forget to look for happiness because we are half asleep and a little bit lazy or lulled into submission.  The middle ride is the easy times.  The celebrations, romances, and promotions in life that make happiness a smile you can’t take off even if you wanted to!  But the last ride, the scary one, can zap our strength and faith in life.  How do you find something good in a ride you want off of?  How do watch the rainbows in the sky when your head is spinning so fast or your body is being plunged too quickly down?  Everyone has been told at some time or other “everything will be okay”  or “life goes on” but if you are scared, how do you believe that?  If you are doubting, how do you decide which direction to go?  And when you get off your ride with wobbly legs, a tossed stomach, and a dizzy mind, it can sound a bit trivial or irritating to have someone else tell you to have fun or be happy.  Yet, if we do not move forward, maybe we doom ourselves to forever stay on that ride.  Despite our blurred vision, the strange thing is, life is still filled with moments of happiness and laughter if we can keep our hearts open to them.  These moments, however huge or however small, may just be the things that steady us when we finally step off the ride.  They may be the memories or smiles that make that portion of the journey bearable.  If your sky is too stormy to see the rainbow, try to remember that it is there existing somewhere beyond the gray.  Believe in it.  Have faith in it.  Brave the ride knowing it will come to an end and you are strong enough to find your way out of it whole and well.  Should you ever have the chance to take a moment or two to breathe and rest easy, take that merry-go-round ride and watch all of the people and places going by never taking for granted the gift of your moments of ease.  Cherish the leisure moments in life.  Cherish the touch of a loved one.  Pay attention to a stranger’s kind smile.  These will be the moments that carry you through making your journey a life lived well and with meaning.  These small moments of significance are the pot of gold.

New research is demonstrating that life today is more stressful than in times past.  You probably already knew that.  Everything from traveling with security check points and delays to work with the blackberries and laptops to track you down wherever you go, life has less down time.  Work hours are longer, lunch times are shorter, traffic is worse and the prices of gas, groceries, and day care are sky high.  What to do?  How do you simplify your life and relieve health-threatening stressors?  Check out A Healthy You, Joy Today, and Herbs for some answers.   

Mom Beautiful

A mom can be many things.  She can have one child or many.  She can be married or alone.  She can have carried the baby in her womb or have extended her love to a child through adoption or foster parenting.  She could be a sister who raises a sibling’s child.  Or a step-parent who takes on the role of step-mom with love and compassion.  Regardless of the nature of the family or the many diverse personalities and styles, mom is often the foundation.  Mom is the voice, and possibly scent, a newborn recognizes.  Mom is the one all the athletes thank as they look into the camera.  Mom is the one who does her best to teach, love, and raise us right.  Moms are who we cry to, who we complain to, who we try to be, who we try not to be, and who we so deeply love.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

The Greeks had Rhea, mother of all Gods.  The Romans honored Cybele as their mother Goddess.  The Egyptians had Isis.  In the United States, Mother’s Day was suggested by Julia Ward Howe in 1872.  In 1907, Anna Jarvis pushed for a national holiday.  Acceptance of this holiday began in churches where Jarvis visited and handed out carnations(flowers still being popular on Mother’s Day).  By 1911, it was celebrated in most states.  President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the national holiday in 1914.  Many countries throughout the world have their own holiday celebrating moms.  Yet the true spirit of motherhood is not a holiday.  Dirty socks litter the floor long before and long after the second Sunday in May.  Little voices call out “Momma!” all year round. 

The Joy of Being a Mom

We all know that being a mom can be frustrating and thankless.  Why else would so many of us stoop to yelling out mom-isms that we swore would never leave our lips?  Yet on mother’s day, and every day, let us remember the absolute joy and privilege that it is to be a mother.  Yes, they are a challenge.  They test our patience with a determination that could change the world if they used it for good instead of homework avoidance. Most of us had these lovely visions of all the wonderful things we would teach them only to see them inheriting some of our worst traits.  They are little mirrors reflecting the truth of our lives.  Truth we had worked long and hard to avoid or put a spin on.  They are a wake up call to make us realize how frustrating we must have been (Sorry Mom).  They are born new and innocent and absolutely dependent.  They are at times clueless in the world.  They are not born to make our lives better, happier, more beautiful.  Yet they do.  In a way that is so completely imperfect.  By the sheer joy of getting to watch their journey unfold, they alter our lives and perceptions.  To be a mom is an honor, a pleasure, a gift.  To hold the responsibility for this little life within our hands is humbling and intimidating.  The breathtaking pleasure of seeing the world anew with an infant and toddler transforms into the amazing experience of seeing your child grow and mature becoming a unique individual with influence in this world.  How will life change them?  How will they affect those around them?  Will they pursue their dreams with boldness?  Will they seek answers or believe they have them?  Will they overcome life’s obstacles or stumble over them?  To be so close to another life as to travel along with them on their journey, this is the wonder of parenting.  To love this being so deeply and completely that senses and emotions unknown before come alive, this is the joy.  This is the gift.  

So on this Mother’s Day,  be good to your mom because even as she yelled, “I’ve had it up to here with you,” she loved you.  Even as she got it all wrong, she meant to do it right.  And when she got it right, be grateful because it isn’t easy.  And moms, be good to your kids because even as they yell “I hate you,” they love you.  And when they get it all wrong, they mean to do it right.  And when they get it right, be thankful because it isn’t easy. 

Is your love good for you?  Or do you have a habit of choosing  Mr./Ms. Wrong instead of So Right?  If love is a many frustrating thing, you might want to check out the love notes page and begin turning your emotional desert into a field of plenty.  Read the new edit and see if you are living with toxic love.   

Research has demonstrated again and again that a smile is better than a frown.  Many of us remember the kids coming back from peer leadership groups with their camp shirts and pointers explaining to us that a frown uses more muscles and so is harder work.  We have all read and heard in excess “if you don’t feel it, fake it.”  Meaning: smile even if you feel like frowning and you soon start to feel better.  Honestly.  Fake it until you make it and all of that.  The thing is, science is proving this correct.  People feel better when they laugh or smile.  Now, scientists and cosmetic industries are further increasing our desire to turn our frown upside down with all of the evidence that frowns and scowls add wrinkles sooner and leave them deeper.  It seems, being optimistic and happy in your life keeps you younger at heart and in appearance.  Smile! 

Find a Happy Place. . .

My son loved the line in Finding Nemo.  Many people repeat some form of this line in there own life every week or even every day.  Can you be happy all the time?  No.  For most of us it is just not realistic to never be angry, sad, or any other range of emotions.  If you smile and say, “It’s okay.  I’m fine,” is that happy?  No.  Not if you aren’t being real.  If your emotions are seething beneath the surface but you put your happy face on, are you being true to yourself?  Are you being true to the ones in your life?  How is anyone going to know you aren’t getting what you need?  This is a lesson many of us have to learn at some point.  I was always one of those people who put on the smiling face or went through the motions of life even as I was so completely miserable.  I knew I was my own worst problem.  If I didn’t say, “Ouch,” how was anyone going to know it hurt?  Conversely, if we don’t say, “I am so happy/excited/in love!”, how are our loved ones going to know we’re satisfied?  Being willing to speak our truth is freeing.  It liberates your soul to allow your best self to come forward.  Being real, honest and true to yourself in a forthright (but kind) manner can be the first step towards true happiness.  Is there something you aren’t being honest about?  Is there a sentence that runs through your mind unsaid?  Break down the obstacle of hidden emotions and untruths and let your greatness shine! 

The Seed of all Beginnings

How can you be happy if your needs are not met?  How can you feel joy when you are obsessed with hunger?  We all need our hunger fed, our thirst quenched, and basic shelter provided.  We all need to feel safe in the world.  Without this, the search for spiritual growth is nearly impossible.  On every continent, in every country, perhaps in your house or just next door, there are children and adults not getting these basic needs met.  In other houses, there are people who struggle with depression, body dis-morphia, low self-esteem and addictions.  These challenges deplete our soul’s ability to feel and to achieve.  Again, how can you be happy when your head is twisted around false perceptions and your soul is not being nourished?  This is why, as well as continuing with the pages on hope, love, and joy, new pages are being added to create a forum for change, discussion and hopefully a little hope for a better future. 

How many songs would have ever been composed if not for love or some version of it or attempt to find it?  How many daisies have been sacrificed in the quest for answers unknown?  Love can make us blissfully happy or the lack or loss of it can create a deep sense of sadness.  This is why love as it relates to our happiness and well being has its own page!  Check out Love Notes and please contribute your stories and ideas.  Does love make the world go ’round? 

Happy May Day!  Happy You!

May Day used to be a time to give flowers and celebrate both your neighbors and springtime.  It is and always was more common in Europe than here in the states.  Why not take a step back in time or a journey to another land and give the gift of flowers to someone today? 

Did you know scientific studies have found that flowers heighten our feelings of life satisfactionand positively improve our social behavior?  Flowers reduce depression and create happiness and overall well being.  People who were given flowers continued to have improved moods and happiness up to three days later!  This was a much happier reaction than those given other gifts such as candles or fruit baskets which have not shown the same delight or long lasting effects.

What mood are you feeling? 

• Azalea – abundance
• Yellow carnation – cheerfulness
• pink carnation – gratitude
• daisy – innocence
• gardenia – joy
• iris – inspiration
• lilac – first love
• pansy – loving thoughts
• pink rose – friendship
• red rose – love
• sunflower – adoration
• pink tulip – caring
• purple tulip – royalty
• yellow tulip – in love
• red tulip – love
• zinnia – thoughts of friends

No one bringing you flowers?  Buy some for yourself!  You can give yourself the gift of a cut bouquet or a plant that will continue to give. 

Oh, and if your special someone doesn’t know the meaning you are trying to convey (and most will not), why not say the words or write them down.  Give a smile today!

Most of us have heard the expression ants in your pants.  It is usually recognizable by fidgeting, restlessness, and general kinetic craziness.  Did you know you can have ants on your mind? 

In Coaching, ANTs is a common phrase used to represent automatic negative thoughts.  For example, you are a single person and you meet a great possibility but instead of walking your beautiful/handsome self over and charming this individual with your wonderful self, you think, “I’m too —-(fill in the blank, stupid, plain, poor, unexciting) to have him/her notice me.”  OR, you find yourself thinking of a great life altering, career expanding, self motivating plan but instead of beginning the process to self-improvement, you think, “I can’t do it.  I’m not good enough.  It’s too crazy.  I’m too lazy.  People would never understand.  It’s too big a plan.” 

These are Automatic Negative Thoughts that can keep us from fulfilling our dreams, goals, or destiny.  We all have them.  Maybe yours change from day to day, project to project.  Maybe they are the same ones that have whispered in your brain for a lifetime.  Maybe you only occasionally have these self-esteem lacking moments.  Maybe you cannot ever shake them.  In any case, they can keep you from moving forward.  They can prevent you from becoming the person you want to be or having the life you dream of having. 

What can you do?

It’s simple, but it might require practice.  Change your ants!  My son says change your ants to pants, which he thinks is funny and we created our own acronym (powerful automatic new thoughts).  If you think I can’t, correct yourself with I can.  If  you think I’m not, think I am.  If you are struck with words in your head that cut you down, exchange them for words that raise you up.  For example, “I’m weak” may be “I am kind and generous and allow others to showcase their talents.”  “I’m pushy” may become “I have a strong will that carries me through crisis.”  “I am unattractive” can be “I have strong features that embody the strength of my heritage; the courage of my life.”  “I am unimpressive” changes to “I am impressive.  I am unique.  I am amazing!”  Try it!  Begin changing your life for the better today.  Send those ants scurrying away.  Don’t let your brain be the picnic playground anymore, or at least, not as often!

Today has the potential to be anything.  I admit I woke up a little (or a lot) sluggish and wishing the week-end had not had to end.  I was pulling myself from the fog trying to carry on an interesting conversation with my son to get his week off to the right start.  My intentions were there.  My head was there.  It was enthusiasm that was missing and it was my son’s as well.  Lucky for us, we met a fun girl from his class at the school’s flower garden.  She had enthusiasm!  She was imagining that the middle of a sunflower was a honeycomb and she was encouraging her friends to take a taste of it.  The other day in an equally enthusiastic prank, she confided,  she had convinced one of her friends that the center was not seeds but an entire six inches of caterpillar eggs.  She told us it had worked too until the other girl told her teacher and the teacher gave a more accurate explanation.  This girl was excited about everything today:  A bird seed that had drifted over and planted itself in one of the flower beds.  A box her dad had given her to plant her own flowers in (which, she let us know, dad had accidentally destroyed leaving her one saved plant).  Even the school bell when it rang to signal the start of the day.  On my way out of the school, I bumped into another little girl who normally is happy to say a quick “hello” as she rushes to beat the late bell.  Today, she put her hand on my arm and stopped me.  She was so happy because she had finished all of her month’s reading and her parents were proud of her.  Her smile could not have been bigger.  

So, what do you need to have a good day?    

Maybe nothing more than appreciation for whatever the day presents.  Maybe a kind word or compliment from someone you care about.  A simple touch.  A gentle smile.  Maybe we don’t all need a perfect day or something phenomenal to happen.  Maybe we only need to open our eyes to the world that exists.  What did you give today?  What did you receive?  I received in just a few minutes enough creative stories, hugs, greetings and friendly smiles to make my blah day a beautiful one.  Or, at the very least, I got enough motivation to get myself going! 

What do you need?  

• appreciation?     
• energy?
• love?
• fame?
• fortune?
• hugs?
• acknowledgement?
• personal growth?
• unity?

What would make today the day you’ve been waiting for?